Monday, February 27, 2006


you get to have people

earlier this month, my uncle passed away. it was unexpected and heartbreaking. one of those moments where like it or not, comfortable or not you realize how acutely you need other people.

oftentimes we feel we can only rely on people and truly ask for help when we are in a time of crisis. it's unfortunate that this is true, but it is. for many of us asking for help is a struggle. we would never consider telling our friends not to ask us for help, on the contrary we encourage them to ask if ever they are in need. but asking on our own behalf can range from feeling uncomfortable to downright excruciating.

this nearly universal struggle is so unfortunate because helping others is such an integral part of being human. when you think about the moments of your life that are the most meaningful, the moments when you were clear about your purpose and your connection to people what were you doing? likely you were sharing those moments with people you love, sharing life with them - both the responsibilities and the benefits.

in this recent period, i've found that asking for help can open our relationships up and bring them to a whole different level. when we ask for help, we are vulnerable and we are real. and maybe most importantly, we are not alone. by inviting others in we invite not only help but new perspectives and new ideas. two brains thinking together about one person's life can move things forward at a whole different pace.

what gets in the way of you asking for help?

what help do you want to ask for?

what agreements could you make with the people you love to make asking for help easier?

as always, i'm on this journey with you and would love to hear your thoughts and experiences so post them here!

dream big,

Stumbled upon your blog and really liked this post. It is funny because it is something that I think about often. I have always been able to open up to my female friends, but never the male ones. It is about the perception of being weak I guess. In the past year or so I have begun to take "risks" by asking for help when I needed it and have been very happy with the results of it all.

Excellent post!

I have taken the advice of Jim Collins, among others, and have developed my own personal board of directors, upon whom I call if I need advice, direction, or even a shoulder. It's been amazing to allow others to provide me with support when I need it because I know how much it means to me to be able to provide the same support when they need it.

I think it's so important to surround ourselves with trusted friends and confidantes who support us in who we really are instead of who others think we should be.

Keep up the great work!

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Your blog continues to inspire me. I enjoy both your insights and your bold invitation for other to join you in thinking new thoughts.

I too have been thinking about "needing" people lately. Needing people was not a concept in my household when I was growing up. Instead we tried to figure out how to do everything by ourselves. It didn't work great.

As I've moved beyond my comfort zone, I've been pleased to see how people light up when I tell them that I need them. Who would have thought I was keeping this great gift from people?

I also find it interesting that it's easy for me to like and love people without noticing I need them. Hmmmm....

My latest experiment is to use the word "need" in ordinary conversation. I need you to speak up, for example. This gets those pathways in my brain primed.

So Kirsten, I need you. You've got a ton of great thinking and I need to hear it regularly. Linda

I you have such a down-to-earth way of putting things. You truly talk with people and not at them like so many other blogs out here seem to do.

On the concept of needing people, it is a must. No matter how independent we may feel ourselves to be, we can not do everything on our own.

Even in this world where we may never have to be with anyone in person any longer (not that that's a good thing), there are still others who we need to involve or be involved with.

It's what we were here for. We were given everything we need, and I take that to mean people are a key to it all.

Keep on inspiring.

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