Monday, April 25, 2005


flirts from the universe

the universe wants us to succeed. this is my hypothesis. one of my favorite poems, the desiderata by max ehrmann has a stanza which reads:

you are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
and whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

these words have always been deeply comforting to me. a reminder that in fact all is as it should be and i am ok. it wasn't until recently that i started to think about my role as a receptor of sorts in this process of unfolding.

my coach recently introduced me to the term 'flirts' from the universe. you know those little coincidences, opportunities and just plain sweet moments that seem to pop up suddenly from out of nowhere.

i don't think they are accidental. and i'm beginning to think that really noticing and cherishing them is the way to go. they almost always seem to lead down interesting paths which stretch and grow our perspectives.

one of the great things about these flirts is that they often seem unbelievable and have an almost magical quality. this energy they contain, this bold adventurous popping up out of nowhere quality, seems to show that flirts are a good indicator we are on the right path. that the universe is as max said "unfolding as it should." we just get to trust it and be watching for the opportunity to jump on and go for a spin.

my new pastime, flirt watching. try it. be aware of the unfolding of your life, and the little sparks that sometimes ignite. watch for the flirts, the universe wants you to have them. you just gotta be ready to jump on and say 'wheeee!'

dream big,

Thursday, April 14, 2005


think big

if i were to hand you one of my business cards on it you'd see the following:
dream big
think big. live big.

lately, i've been pondering the - think big - portion of my project. what exactly does it mean to think big? one of the first things that comes to mind, and it's a clever thought let me tell you, is that it's about deciding not to think small.
i know it seems way too obvious, but i think making that decision is actually a more powerful move than we might at first think.

you know the little voices in your head that often pop up when you are about to say something kind of risky, take a leap of faith, or act boldly with total confidence. they usually say something like "what are you thinking? you think you can do this?" or "here you go again making a total fool of yourself", i'm sure you can fill in the blank with your little voices particular flavor.

in coaching, we call these little guys gremlins. and boy are they pesky. i think their aim in life is to push us to think small. to only try things that don't risk unseating them from the throne they have comfortably placed in the center of our personal universe.

while all this talking about them as though they are their own little creatures may seem silly, i think it's useful in that it helps us to distinguish them from us. we are not our gremlins.

don't get me wrong everyone's got gremlins. but they are not us, they are simply the byproduct of growing up in the world we did. we've each accumulated a posse of these nasty little creatures from the mean things our older siblings said when we were little, the worries our parents obsessed about as we were growing up and the plain old misinformation this sometimes not so kind society we live in has passed on to us. these little guys are lying, mean, worry warts...and that's clearly not who we are.

so from my perspective thinking big has a lot to do with giving our gremlins the boot. deciding that when we hear those little voices begin to speak we are going to say "shut-up you little butthead i'm tired of listening to your crap!" don't you start to feel more powerful just saying it?

and that's the goal, to remember that in spite of what our gremlins may think the reality is that we are powerful, creative, brilliant, lovable people. we were designed to think big, to challenge ourselves to greater and greater adventures and undertakings.

so next time you are struggling to think big, try telling the little guys what's what and see if it helps clear some space for you to remember how kick ass you truly are.

dream big,

p.s. if you are interested in reading more about gremlins, check out:

Monday, April 04, 2005


new & good

when was the last time you had a conversation with someone where the focus was on what was going well in your lives? it's unfortunately not always a common occurence, but the energy and joy it can bring is worth going after.
when i connect with the people in my life, i do my best to replace the usual "how's it going?" with "what's new & good in your life?" it immediately shifts the conversation from a focus on what's stressful, overwhelming and crappy, to what we are enjoying about our lives and what's going well.

and the answer to the question "what's new & good?" doesn't have to be some huge life changing could be that you saw a great movie, or that you are loving the sunshine today, or maybe that you are really pleased with a project you just finished. and sometimes it will be the big life changing things, like i'm graduating in a week, or my sister just had a baby, or i finished the first draft of my book!

the great thing about focusing on the new & that not only does it take your attention away from the stressful and overwhelming, it actually can often transform it. i'm not advocating pretense, or not sharing all of yourself with your friends and family. but i think we do a pretty good job of noticing what isn't going well...and sometimes we need a little prompting to remember that a lot is going well.

just the act of saying outloud one or two things that are new & good, can make handling the stressful, overwhelming and crappy seem much more doable. you are not a complete wreck, your life is not headed straight for the toilet, and wow you actually did handle that project really well didn't you!

so try it out, ask your friends and have them ask you...what's new & good, recent & decent or even fresh & fabulous!

and new & good with me? well, last night i got together with my family and we played this board game oodles...and numerous times were all reduced to laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. it was great!

dream big,

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